Just some things I’m thinking

Ok, so I haven’t written anything in a while so I decided I’d write something just to have written something.  Maybe if I keep this up for a while I’ll get in the habit of writing.  So don’t expect anything extra awesomely amazingly amazing today.

To be honest, I really do like writing I just have had a hard time lately making myself do it or pretty much anything else.  Oh how I love the joys o mental illness and depression (obvious sarcasm).  So why am I depressed?  Well, why is water wet?  Not seeing the connection?  Without getting all science-y, they have the same answer: because.  Water is wet because it is wet and I’m depressed because I am.  For people like me with mental illnesses there doesn’t have to be a reason, that’s why it is an illness.  It’s not caused by anything in life happening, it is caused by our brains just going “hey, I don’t feel like working properly so here is some random emotions not connected to anything at all.”  The deference between depression for the mentally ill and depression for others is that for others there is always something causing the depression even if it may not be immediately obvious.  Things such as death or some other form of loss often cause people to be depressed for a long time.  For people like me there is no external cause, it just happens.  Thinking positively, praying a lot, relaxation methods, and even medicine may help but nothing will just make it go away.  It comes when it wants and it goes when it wants.  Sort of like seizures for someone like epilepsy because there may or may not be something that triggers it but often it just happens. For  much more eloquent discussion about mental illness check out this awesome blog.

All of this is not to say that I don’t have crap going on in my life that sucks, because I do.  But that just adds to whatever my brain is doing on its own.  However, with being bipolar there is another side to all of this: mania.  That’s like the opposite of depression.  Everything is high energy and out of control.  The brain is still messing up but it a very different way.

Here is a video:


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